News Leak Centre

No Fear No Favour

#NLCSatire: PM Modi’s Digital India In Motion. Cows Up For Sale Online After Ban On Selling Cattle.

Indians are well known for their “Jugaad” to turn situations to their favour. Whenever they find themselves trapped in a “Chakravyuha”, they tend to find the ‘other’ solutions to make their way out of that “Chakravyuha”. When Supreme Court ordered the liquor shops to be shut down within 500mts of national highways, the ‘Jugaadi’ Indian came into play, and what followed next was hilarious:


A Kerala bar put up a maze in a way to over-rule the liquor ban by the Supreme Court.

In the midst of flowing tides, the Government of India had passed an order preventing the sale of cattle. The order came down heavily on the poor farmers and the same who would sell their cattle during the unfortunate times. As it is said, Indians are good in making their own way, the third way, the ‘Jugaad’ way.

As the Digital India saw a tremendous boost under the leadership of PM Narendra Modi, Indian’s took it quite seriously. A swift search on online marketplaces such as OLX shows that hundreds of cows are up for sale in the virtual world. Now, not only you can buy that ‘Reshma ka gobar’, but also, soon-to-be-a national animal, cow.

With the growing penetration of internet to the Indian masses, the use of varied use of the internet is also seen. Seeing a better future on the internet, the cattle owners said that they are happy with the internet connection they own now because of Mukesh Ambani, he says, “Hum Mukesh Ambani ka shkuriya karte hain… Agar voh nhi hote tow hum inn sab cheezon ke bare mein pata he nhi chalta… Dhanya hai Ambani jee”

Explaining the disadvantages of online selling, the gau rakshaks and ‘Humans of Hindutva’ burst out on the policies of the online e-commerce website, with lathis and dandas in their hands, they said, “Yeh online waale hum hutiya (censorship) smjhe hain kya??” With more anger on their face, he said, “Yeh online vale, inn ko jarurat nhi ki apna puura naam daalein… Aadhe naam par bhi bech skte… Jaruri nahi ki puura naam dein.” In the midst of the interview, our correspondent did have a close encounter to death. A boy came running shouting, “Bhai kisi Arjit ne gaaye bechi hai online” Unfortunately, our correspondent did share the same name, so they started looking them with a weird look and, in a way was threatening him. After much persuasion, they let him free with 20 sit-ups and feed 20 cows. He is now bankrupt.

 Prime Minister dream of Digital India is now becoming a reality with the same effort.

(This article was written in a fun mood, and should not be taken seriously)

By: Ananya Pandit

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