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No Fear No Favour

NLCSatire: Going by the notion, CBFC may soon give a new order to makers to put disclaimers like “No cows were harmed during the making of the movie” and “ Momos Kills” in the movie.

This article is a work of fiction. “It’s A Fake News, Fake News Everywhere,” says Donald Trump after reading this article.

The central board of film certification (CBFC) has asked movie makers to add a new disclaimer at the beginning of the movie that “No Cows were harmed during the making of the movie”. When we asked CBFC chairman Pahlaj Nihalani, what was the need for an additional disclaimer when there was already one in force about all animals, he said, “Have not you heard what our honorable Rajasthan HC judge has said about the cow. You people in media at least needs to do your homework properly before coming for interview”.

“Cow is just not an animal, it is much more than that. It is unfortunate we have clubbed it among all other animals till now. We must rectify our mistake and give cow the importance it deserves. This is the first step in that direction”, said Mr. Nihalani.

Mr. Nihalani added, “Have told movie makers, this is not like other disclaimers. It will be strictly enforced. We are hiring new people to our team. Their job would be while watching the movie during certification process to keep a close tab on cows. Suppose there is a fight scene on roads, keenly observe there is no disturbance to cows who will be on road. Similarly, during song picturizations on those green lawns, when the hero and heroine run towards each other to hug, they must not have caused any disturbance to cattle, cows grazing nearby.”

When we asked any further steps, CBFC is planning to recommend to movie makers, Mr. Nihalani said, “We are talking to NFDC. We are thinking about adding a short documentary on cows before movie starts. How long our audience would be watching same old vicco vajradanti advertisements at the theatres. They need to know little about cow, who will be declared our national animal soon.”

One of the regular movie watcher said, “This is a good move. Many times, coming through painful city traffic and then while looking for an empty parking lot inside malls, one hell of a task, Movie would have started. These additional disclaimers, documentaries will allow me to watch the movie from the beginning.”

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