Mother-Daughter relationship: How the small things can provide you warmth and happiness!
Mothers and daughters share a special bond that lasts through their lifetimes. Make the most of the time you have together. Although the ties between mothers and daughters are already very strong, here are some tips on how you can make them even stronger.
Oiling her hair
Every Sunday, make it a ritual to apply oil on your daughter’s hair and massage it. Not only will doing this nourish your daughter’s hair, but it will also provide you with time to bond with her. Heat a little oil, depending on the length of your daughter’s hair, and apply it to her scalp with the help of a cotton ball. Don’t dip your fingers in it, and don’t squeeze drops directly onto your daughter’s hair, as the oil will be too hot initially. Dab her scalp gently, using the cotton. After you have dabbed the oil all over her scalp, give her a good 10-20 minute head massage. Leave the television off while doing this, and let some music play, or just talk to each other, discuss her day, or tell her stories of your childhood.
Going shopping together
Go shopping together, and take her opinion into consideration. This builds her confidence. If you just ignore her opinion every time, she may not develop faith in her ability to make the right choice, and so she will not be able to make decisions confidently. If you are completely out of sync with her choice, then you could take her help to select from a few shortlisted things – for example, if you are shopping for a salwar kameez, first shortlist your selection and then ask her for her opinion. If you still are not comfortable with her judgement, then it is best that you don’t solicit her opinion, or, don’t take her along. You could then ask for her opinion on what you should wear before leaving for a party.
Letting her help you get ready
Let your daughter help you get ready when you need to go out, in whatever small way she can contribute. Your little daughter, in all likelihood, would love to see you dressing up and getting ready. So, remove two saris and let your daughter select the one that you should wear. Similarly, solicit her opinion on jewellery etc.
Being friendly with her friends
Get to know your daughter’s friends. The more comfortable you are with her friends, the more comfortable her friends will feel coming over and spending time with her. Similarly, the more likely it is that she will make you more and more a part of her world. When parents are very intimidating, friends tend to stay away and would rather have you over than come over to your place. But if you are very warm towards her friends, then they will feel welcome to come over at all times of the day – and, as your daughter enters her teens, you will be glad that all your daughter’s friends would rather hang out at your place, as this means that you see more of her. Also, involvement in her friend circle means that there are more chances of you knowing what’s going on. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t give your daughter privacy. When her friends come over, speak to them for a short while, and then leave them alone, or they will feel that they cannot do their own thing at your place, and your good intentions will backfire!