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No Fear No Favour

Here are 10 stages of getting drunk this weekend

It’s Friday, and we all know what that means. Some of you will be hitting your favourite watering holes for a bit of liquid courage. And while it’s great to have a good time with your friends, the important thing is to enjoy yourself responsibly, have a designated driver, and keep our streets safe for everyone. But in the spirit (pun intended) of the weekend, here’s a light-hearted look at the various stages of being drunk.  

1. The First Peg

Here’s where it all begins – that first drink. You take that sip, and as it glides down your throat, you feel a little bit of the day’s stress melt away.

2. The ‘I’m Okay’ Stage

By now, you’re two drinks down and inhibitions are dissolving, and so you drink more. The night is young, and this party’s just getting started…

3. The ‘I’m Okay (Not Okay)’ Stage

They say that ‘Denial is not just another river in Egypt’, and no one knows that better than you once you’ve reached this stage. But the good fight must be fought and in the interest of ego and a good time…we insist we are okay and carry on. Affirmations of sobriety are distinctly louder now… “Are you okay?” “HELL YEAH, I AM!”

4. The ‘I Drink And I Know Things’ Stage

We now enter the stage where deep conversations on matters we know little of must be had. From the meaning of life to parallel cinema, we drone on with a passion using words our sober minds would fail to recognise. Our vocabulary, of course, would be considerably diminished in the morning.

5. The ‘Main Sharabi’ Stage

By this stage, words are no longer possible, and all you want to do is dance, slur, and dance a little more. I have a friend who got drunk and danced while the news commentary was playing in the background… so yeah

6. The ‘It’s A Laugh Riot’ Stage

That stage when you’re so drunk, you will practically laugh at anything. Even if it’s someone like Gunther from F.R.I.E.N.D.S making the joke

7. The ‘call’ Stage

If I’m talking about Gunther, I need to talk .So yes, this stage is all about making drunk calls. We’ve all been through this one and have drunk dialled someone and regretted it the next day.

8. The Passing Out Stage

From talking gibberish to sleeping on the floor, passing out is probably our favourite stage. You talk, you walk, you fall and bam, you sleep. How awesome is that? 

9. The Hangover Stage

It’s that moment when you wake up and realise you don’t remember anything that went down last night. Which may or may not be a good thing. So, you attempt to piece together events through the haze that was last night

10. The ‘I Am Not Getting Drunk’ Stage

…and then you promise yourself to NEVER get drunk again. hahaha

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