Not being in a relationship for more than a few months is often frowned upon. Women will quickly be called “future cat-ladies” or be warned about their biological clock ticking, and there seems to be only one way out of the stigma of being a long-term single for men: sleeping around. When going on a date, people often don’t feel comfortable revealing that their most recent relationship has ended years ago. Maybe the other person will think no one wants them? It’s time to settle this once and for all: long-term singles are better partners. Here’s why:
Alone-time is important
Let’s start with the most obvious of factors: This might sound a little cliché, but knowing how to spend time alone and learning a few things about yourself is the groundwork to any great relationship — be that romantic or platonic.
Some people have their first relationship when they hit puberty and then go from one relationship straight to the next one — until they eventually get married. Never in their adult life have they spent any significant time alone.
Question is: Are they with someone because they love them or because they’re not used to being alone? For long-term singles it’s completely fine not to receive a call or a text message every couple of hours. Having to constantly answer to one’s loved one can be very stressful. Interesting side note: The oldest person in the world says ‘being single’ is the reason she’s still alive.
Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who knows how to deal with stuff alone than with someone who might develope an unhealthy dependency? If you’re with someone who has never really been alone, they will not react well if you tell them about that holiday you planned with your friends. Being single in tough times strengthens you. Your happiness should not depend on anyone but yourself, so you should be able to take good care of yourself.
Singles aren’t desperate, they’re selective
To learn and grow from a break-up takes time. If people hop from one relationship to the other, they never really get around to learning from potential mistakes. It may even seem like they’re going from one rebound to the next. When a long-term single enters a relationship, you know they really want that. They’re not desperate, they’re selective.
When someone who has only ever been in relationships is in an unhappy relationship — or let’s say a relationship in a crisis — they won’t really know how to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and might seek someone else to consult.
The long-term single, however, will have the composure to deal with the matter alone. Maybe that means long-term singles are more faithful than others.
Maybe people don’t avoid relationships because they aren’t good enough, or because they are needy. Maybe some people just wait for someone who’s worth being in a relationship with. And that makes all the difference.