Quick positions and scheduled orgasms

We keep hearing marriage jokes at family gatherings, parties, on WhatsApp, basically everywhere. But for a moment let’s talk about one of the things where marriage trumps the rest – married sex!

Married sex means that you get the sex without going through the painful process of overpriced drinks, cheesy pickup lines and high heels. In other words, all those on Tinder and other dating apps should be jealous of married couples and their sex lives!

Why do you ask? Read on and find out:

1. Expert knowledge of each other’s bodies

You know where your hands should go and where they shouldn’t. Your better half knows what you prefer in bed, and what you’d rather avoid.

2. Scheduled sex

Expert knowledge about each other also means that you can schedule when you want to have sex even at the last minute and actually do it!

A quickie when you feel like it lets you get intimate and at the same time not waste a full 45 minutes for the act, especially when you need to get up early for office the next morning! Sex right after the matinee show on Sunday? Done! Don’t be late!

 

3. Funny sex

There’s no need to be afraid again while having sex! Trying and miserably failing at a new sex position or farting by mistake during all that twisting and turning can be a secret joke between the both of you for the next few weeks.

4. One honey, so no worry

One of the best things about married sex? You won’t be thinking does he/she really like me? Will they call back? Should I leave in the morning?

5. Say no to STDs!

Say goodbye to herpes, crabs and other deadly and familiar venereal diseases.

6. Arriving on time

We’re not saying this will happen every time, but at least the more you sleep with your partner, you get better at recognizing each other’s timing and pace and hence you orgasm together more often.

Don’t they say practice makes perfect? Well, then you can certainly get better since you’re having sex with the same person!

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