NLC Blog: Why a virgin women is considered as a desirable whereas virgin man faces embarrassment.

Look she’s a fair skin, a beautiful and well-educated girl also she has never had sex with anybody, she’s a ‘pure’ girl. A perfect ideal girl, a marriage material for any men. That’s how this society describes a millennial girl who prefers not to have sex with anyone before marriage. Though it’s her choice to have sex with someone before or after marriage but she gets a tag of being ‘Pure’ girl because of her choice.

Now a scenario for a man, What, you never had sex? What are you doing with your life man? Dude, you should be sexually active at this age, what you want to remain a virgin until marriage? Hahaha, what a joke! That’s how a society describes a millennial boy who prefers to remain a virgin until marriage. For him to remain a virgin is considered as a joke and usually, people laugh at him as he never had sex in his life. He becomes a laughing stock for his friend.

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In general, these contrasting conceptions of virginity divide down gender lines: men who are virgins are more likely to be thought of as deserving of sympathy for their “embarrassing” predicament, whereas female virgins are more likely to be considered the ultimate ideal in purity and innocence. Assuming that the virgin you’re thinking of sleeping with is female, it’s worth considering the whole host of societal pressure she is likely facing about the concept of her virginity, and what losing it means.

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It’s also worth factoring in the idea that it’s the ultimate goal for men to “take” a woman’s virginity. For a man, taking a woman’s virginity is like taking ownership of her body and soul. It’s funny how similar this sounds to the concept of a tiger marking its territory in a jungle! It’s a pretty creepy way of looking at things, and it would be a good idea for you to reassure her that that’s not your mindset.

Why Men Prefer Virgin Women/Wife?

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In the Indian epic Mahabharata, Draupadi had five husbands. However, she was considered the purest woman in the world. This is because Draupadi had a special boon. She was supposed to spend a year with each of her husband’s and at the end of every year, she will become a virgin again. This story shows the obsession of Indian men with virgins. They are happy to have casual flings with ‘racy’ women, but when it comes to marriage, Indian men want virgin brides.

The biggest reason why Indian men are obsessed with virginity is their own ego. A man gets an ego boost when he thinks to himself, ‘I was the first and the only man to de-flower my wife’. There’s exactly no reasons for her to be virgin before the marriage.

Why you want your wife to be virgin when you are the one who is clearly not, If you had done it so did she, who are you to decide her pre-marriage decisions?


When Man prefers to stay Virgin.

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One of the reasons why men tend to freak out about the idea of being a virgin – especially being a virgin past college – is that we’ve grown up in the shadow of a cultural narrative that we believe to be law. But let’s be honest for a second: even if people aren’t having as much sex as you may think they are, it’s cold comfort. After all: you still aren’t having any. Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. You feel like you’re defective. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.
Male brags about sexual conquests (whether real or made up) all the time. It’s a machismo thing. Admitting it to one person, especially if it’s a friend, is really not that bad.

All in all, if a male is virgin people will take it as either a sign that you’re unmasculine, or, in some social groups, that there is something psychologically seriously wrong with you- I have encountered people, in my teens, who were talking about a guy who was about 20 and still a virgin, and they were legitimately saying that his virginity could be evidence that he was a serial killer. (of course, they were retarded, he was just a bit shy, but that’s an example of what it’s like).

What I’d have to say is that it depends heavily on your social circle. If there are a bunch of guys trying to prove dominance, it’s going to be pretty fucking embarrassing. Admitting that you are a group of friends you have known for a while, even all guys, is probably not going to be that bad, if at all, though it could still be bad if you are the only virgin among sexually experienced people.

This whole attitude about being virgin or not is one of the many common dysfunctional attitudes about sex — that sex is an achievement, and people (usually men) who haven’t had sex by a certain age are failures. Women who are virgins is pure. It’s depressing.

By: Saket Sharma

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