We all know this to be true: Long-distance relationships suck. They’re hard and you can spend a lot of time either wondering why the heck you’re doing it in the first place or explaining to other people how you do it at all. Although LDRs are the worst most of the time, sometimes they can be pretty great, at least if — and it’s a big if — you know how to keep things sexy in a long-distance relationship.
The good thing about long-distance relationships is that you OBVIOUSLY have a bond.
Otherwise, why would you wait around for someone in the first place? So you need to remember to rely on those great communication skills and the connection that brought you together in the first place and helped you decide that air miles weren’t anything when it came to True Love.
For good measure, you should know that keeping things spicy in your LDR isn’t just about sex. Talk about a plot twist, right?
Here are some ways to keep things hot and fun in your long distance relationship, no matter how long you’re apart from your boo.
1. Scheduled times to talk:
Yes, it’s inevitable that you’ll text and communicate through likes and retweets on social media, but schedule actual times to have a conversation. Doing it every day might be too much for most couples — try it every other day or even once a week. Definitely, chat it up and send funny pictures and things in between, but make time to have a “date.” Actually Skyping while having dinner or watching Game of Thrones together on Sundays sounds lame, but it’s worth a shot. You’ll find your groove eventually.
2. SWAP PHONE CALLS FOR VIDEO CALLS:
It’s great to hear your girlfriend’s voice, but seeing her is even better. That might seem like a huge duh, but it’s often so much easier to chat whenever one of you has the time, like while you’re in line at the grocery store or driving to work. Not the sexiest of environments. Even though video calls might require more scheduling, they’re worth it.
“Many couples report that they feel more connected when they get to see their partner, as they’re engaging two senses—sight and sound—as opposed to just hearing their voice,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., creator of the Sexual Pro Series Webinar Videos. Plus, you’ll be alone, meaning your attention is 100 percent on each other. Bonus: You don’t have to wear any clothes. Naked dinner date? Naked dessert? You see where this is going.
Sex toys that are app-controlled, like the We-Vibe Jive, a vibrator that can be controlled anywhere from the We-Connect app, can be used during video sessions.
“Many couples who make an effort to have phone, text, or app-supported sex while they’re apart report that the sex is even hotter once they get back together, as they’re not out of practice and they’ve built anticipation over the weeks or months leading up to partnered in-the-flesh sex,” says sources.
4. Get in each other’s lives:
When you visit, it will be tempting to roll around in bed all day and order take out and get in there. But try to make time to go out on the town and meet their new friends and see their new city. Same goes for when they come to town. That way, you have something to talk about when you do talk on the phone and don’t fall into the whole “I miss you, when can we visit, what are you wearing” routine. Knowing what each other is up to when you’re apart is healthy, even if you get a little jealous.
A message with a few strategically-chosen emojis can be almost as hot as in-person dirty talk since you’re getting her to fantasize about what she’s craving to do with you. Shoot her a text of what you’re thinking about or a sexy scenario you can’t wait to try with her next time you see her.
Sources recommend using the app InTheMood, which is only connected to your partner, to avoid accidentally sending anything to other people in your contacts. And if you’re sending sexy photos, consider hiding your face or only sending close-ups of certain body parts so that you’re not identifiable. Besides, she’ll appreciate any glimpse of you she can get.
Receiving a surprise package is already fun. When it’s filled with naughty goodies? Even better. You can get creative with this based on what your partner likes, but O’Reilly has a few ideas. “You can send your partner something sexy for them to wear (or for you to wear as a teaser for your next meetup), or even an erotic book or a toy.”
You can also fill up the box with some non-sexy items that she likes just to show her that you’re thinking about her, she says. Then she can thank you for the package in person when you see her next.